Personal Finance: Save for retirement first, then work on a down payment

I am 23 years old, and my husband and I are trying to save for a house. I know that if I start saving for retirement right now, I will be much better off than if I wait even a few years. I contribute the maximum my company will match to my Roth 401(k), but we are unsure about how to split saving between a house and retirement. Should I be contribut ing more toward retirement? You are so right that starting early is key. Many people in their 20s blow off saving for retirement, but the very best time to get started is when you have decades ahead of you for your money to grow.

Here's a simple illustration. If you start saving $4,000 a year for retirement at age 23, you'll have a little over $1 million in 40 years, assuming 8 percent average annual returns.

Wait just five years to start, and your future nest egg shrinks 33 percent, to about $690,000.

A good rule of thumb is to save at least 10 percent of your gross income for retirement. You'll probably want to save more if you plan on early retirement or extended breaks from work (if you want to stay at home for a few years with your kids, for example). People who start sav ing for retirement late -- say, after age 35 -- probably should bump up their contribution rate as well.

Once your retirement savings are on track, you can start sock ing money away for other goals, like your future house. If your ex penses are too high to allow you to save more, then you need to trim those costs. Books such as "Your Money or Your Life," by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin, and Amy Dacyczyn's "Tightwad Gazette" can put you on the right track. I just finished reading your column about how people who can't afford to tip should eat at home. I think you have a lot of nerve. I know people who are on a fixed income who would just like to get out of the house for a sandwich and maybe some company. So what if they don't have enough for a tip? If a manager ever approached me about my not tipping, I would take my business elsewhere and I would be sure to pass this information along to my friends, neighbors and relatives. Actually, taking your business elsewhere is exactly what the wait staff is hoping you will do.

Being thrifty, especially when money is tight, is a virtue. But ex pecting others to bear the cost of your frugality crosses the line into stinginess. And that's exactly what you're doing when you fail to tip at a full-service restaurant. As mentioned in the earlier column, these employees depend on tips for a livable wage, since many are paid way below minimum wage.

People who feel they can't afford to tip have other options be sides eating at home, including patronizing fast-food and self- serve restaurants. I am a generous tipper, diligently giving upward of 25 percent even when the order has a built-in service charge. Yet increasingly I encounter whiny servers who are slothful at best and less than enthusiastic about the service they are providing. What is the proper response to lackluster service? I frequently entertain clients and would ap preciate good meals accompa nied by good service. Some problems are beyond the control of the server, such as an understaffed restaurant or troubles in the kitchen that slow meal preparation. But if the problem really is the server, the proper course is to have a word with the manager about the issue after the meal. The response you get will tell you volumes about whether the bad service is an aberration or par for the course for that establishment.

Given that you entertain fre quently for business, you might seek out restaurants that are known for their good service and reward the staff accordingly. This tipping business has got ten way out of hand. Never in my career of 30 years was I ever tipped. I hate tipping and don't, but I'm trumped by the wife, who does tip. I have business cards which I leave: "When you tip me for coming here, I'll tip you for being here." Here's a tip, then: If you actually do have such cards and leave them behind you, you should be careful about never eating in the same place twice.

Questions may be submitted to Liz Pulliam Weston via her Web site, www.asklizweston.com. She regrets she cannot respond personally to queries.